April 27, 2010

Roll With It

It would have been great if things had gone as planned – if Little Guy was floating in his slip I would have been able to work on the trailer in my driveway and then put it in storage at a buddy’s farm. Instead, I had to work on the trailer with the boat on it. I borrowed my brother’s floor jack, in conjunction with mine, and used them to jack the boat up, providing clearance to get the wheel on the metal cog. I had to use some wood to raise the jacks up so they would be able, in turn, to raise the boat properly. Unfortunately the position of the wheel near the middle of the boat meant that I had to jack the boat very high and pivot it against the bow support. Even with the wood and the jacks at maximum extension I was unable to get the three or four inches of clearance required to mount the new wheel on the support.

Time to go with a plan B. I considered going to Home Depot and buying a smaller diameter wheel that would be able to serve as a temporary replacement for the proper wheel. But really what I needed was something that could serve as a padded support for transport to avoid further damage to the hull, and not be an obstacle for the eventual launch. I searched the garage to find something that could meet this requirement.

I don’t have an inventory of wheels, but I do have a pile of lacrosse balls in a box of sporting goods. I pulled out my drill and trusty collection of drill bits and drilled a half inch hole in a lacrosse ball and wedged it over the square steel support rail.

Pics: a) The problem; b) The solution; c) The next problem; d) The next solution; e) Solved!

Project Expense: $0.00
Say’s Law formulation by John Maynard Keynes: “Supply creates its own demand”
Remaining lacrosse ball inventory: 18
Greg Rynne’s number at TJHSST Lacrosse: 18
Woodbridge lax carpool numbers: Rynne – 18 (voter), Lance – 21 (drinker), Mack – 16 (driver)
Other balls in the box: field hockey, racquet, tennis, soft, foot (nerf and leather)

April 1, 2010

Fool’s Day

A Rose By Any Other Name…
I’ve seen a lot of clever names of boats. I decided that it would be nice to have a name for my little boat – something that would be clever but also be appropriate for the ultimate professional use I’d like to see from this boat. So, trying to leverage the smart people I know I created an email ring with my friends to come up with a name for where my funds will go, and here are the options that my friends came up with (some of the more amusing, yet inappropriate names have been redacted):

Big mack, Little mack, Water beast, Consulting, Consulting fee, The office, Client site, Deliverable, The little woman, My main squeeze, Patriot’s dingy, Patriot’s poop, My dirty dingy, It's a boat time, That's what I'm talking a boat!, Backed Raft, Mack Raft, The PotoMack, N'Sink, Sinking Suspicion, Sunk Cost, SS Minnowtaur, PotoMack, Mack Boat, Mack Beth, Mack the Knife, (Kobayashi Maru), If This Boat's a' Rocking - That's Because It's Small, Fat Guy in a Little Boat, Hanging with the Buoys, The Bro-at, Rod Holder, Where's the Reef?, The Anchor Sore, it's not the size of the boat., luke perry, whatcha talkin' a boat- willis, what's up dock, wake whatcha momma gave ya, mack-in-the-boat, 99 problems, but a boat ain't one, cap-n-mack's-wa-ter-craft, Nasty Bouy

While many were worth a laugh – I settled on “little guy.” It is appropriate for a boat serving as a tender for a larger vessel, it is not unprofessional, it matches how my friends with male children refer to their progeny, and… I won’t be embarrassed to order a decal with the name.

Boat terminology in culture (popular or otherwise)
Above Board: Pirates would hide crew members below decks to fool victims. When all the crewmen were on the deck then -- seeing is believing – the vessel was more likely to be an honest merchant ship.
All hands on deck: Nowadays we gather to discuss some task. Sailors did the same thing, but met on the deck.
Bamboozle: This was the word used to describe the deceit of pirates who flew an ensign of national origin other than their own.
Barge in: Most believe this term, used today to describe a tactless appearance or interruption, came about because barges are hard to maneuver.
Clean slate: Daily logs were kept on a slab of slate. Each new watch officer would erase the previous entries.
Knows the ropes: It took an experienced seaman to know the function of all the ropes on a sailing vessel.
Passed with flying colors: Refers to a sailing ship that distinguished itself by flying all of its pennants and flags (called "colors") when passing other vessels.
Pipe down. Helmsmen told the crew members on deck that they could "pipe down," meaning their chores were done and they could return to their quarters below decks.
Scuttlebutt: To discourage idle chit-chat at the ship\’s water barrel, the drinking ladle had little holes in it so the water would leak if the sailor didn\’t drink it up fast. The holes were called scuttles.
Shape up: This was the term helmsmen used to refer to getting back on course to avoid danger.
Under the weather: The sailor who had to stand watch on the bow taking all the pounding and spray was said to be "under the weather."
Worth their salt: Salt actually was also used to pay Roman sailors. So any sailor "worth his salt" was worth what he was getting paid.


Other Boat Comments / Humor
Boats, Dogs, Women – things that you should borrow or rent rather than trying to own your own.
A boat is a hole in the water into which money is thrown.
The second happiest day of your life is when you buy a boat. The happiest is when you sell a boat.
Why did the new Spanish navy get glass bottom boats? So they could see the old Spanish navy.
What do you get when you cross a street with a boat? A hole in the hull.

March 28, 2010

A hole in the water ... I didn't learn by watching others.

I had hoped to keep this quiet until I was basking in the sun on the Potomac river, but circumstances of a humorousinthepast nature have presented themselves to merit a series of posts. As indicated in my IntraCoastal Waterway post, my primary client these days is in the maritime industry. I have applied for a grant to perform some analysis on behalf of this client that would be well accommodated by having a small watercraft… so I used this confluence of circumstances to fall into the midlifecrisis trap: buying a boat.

In January I found a deal on a 21’ Mako – center console with a 200hp motor that was owned by a nice guy in Muhrland who was looking to move up to a bigger boat. The boat was only $5k (negotiated $500 off), a great price for a running boat, but I knew from the ad that the boat might have challenges (foreshadowing) when the hull is older than Christina Alguilera and the motor is old enough to buy beer. The deal was good, the seller was pleasant, but the weather was not – a series of snow storms prevented me from picking up the boat in Februrary. I waited until March, bought the appropriate tow adaptor for the Beast, and dragged the boat about 80 miles back to HQ in Reston.

The Launch

I waited until a gorgeous spring day during the week to tow the boat back around the beltway to Bellehaven Marina in Alexandria (about 25miles). I paid the dock master $5 (it is an NPS site managed by a private firm – Read: government fixed pricing) to launch the boat. THEN THE FUN BEGINS!

To launch a boat from a trailer, one has to back the trailer down the ramp, loosen all the bindings on the boat (tie a rope to the boat or you’ll be sorry) and then ‘jerk’ the boat off the trailer. This boat had been sitting on the trailer for at least six months, and the trailer has old wheels (one of which missing, but a replacement part of the purchase) so I had to give the boat a hell of a jerk to get the boat to roll off the trailer into the water. In doing so, the hitch came detached so the boat released, and so did the trailer. If not for the safety chains, I would have a trailer at the bottom of the Potomac also. The trailer did pop up and dent the hell out of the back of my truck . The cursing begins.

Once in the water, the engine would not tilt down to put the propeller in the water. It was stuck in the up position and the motor wouldn't engage to lower it. After a brief profanity tirade, I called around and even used a hammer for a while. Eventually a mechanic was walking by and he found a bad connection in the relay. The motor was lowered.

Then I kept the mechanic (via Jackson twins) and we tried to get the motor started - but the boat wasn't having it. He started talking about carburetor rebuilds and then wandered off. I spent another half hour trying to get it started, but at this point I noticed that the large mechanic (with a LOT of asscrack displayed) and me at the back of the boat working on the motor had caused the boat to start filling up with water. Looking through the hatch, I could see the bilge pump (that should evacuate water from the hull) doing its best Good Humor (just chillin). Before I really had a boat at the bottom of the river, I decided to cut my losses and pulled the boat back to the ramp, put the beast back in, and managed to use the manual winch to get the incredibly heavy boat onto the trailer. Since there was a missing wheel on the trailer, and the weight, part of the trailer left an incredible scratch on the hull as I pulled the boat back onto the trailer.

I had to get to a meeting across the river, so I left the boat, on the trailer, at the marina and hoped I would not get a ticket. When I returned three hours later, there was no ticket, but the adaptor for the trailer lights had been swiped by a walker-by.
Incredibly deflated, pissed off, and frustrated, I pulled the hull plug and drained at least two hundred gallons of the Potomac around the beltway on my way home.

I averted my eyes every time I walked out of my house for two weeks before coming up with the list of things that needed to be repaired on the boat before risking part deux of this adventure:
a) Repair wheel on trailer – to avoid damage to hull during transport and launch;
b) Repair any damage to the hull;
c) Repair / Replace relays in tilt motor so it is more than a barge;
d) Repair / Replace bilge pump to avoid large water storage device / sinking;
e) Not to mention get lines and prepare them to appropriate lengths – the plan is to get a slip at National Harbor so I don’t have to launch the boat. I’d rather have the boat waiting in the water for humiliating moments.

Pic: So much optmism. (pay no attention to the damage to the lawn) - other pictures unavailable (thankfully)

February 25 - 28

IntraCoastal Waterway

February 25, 2010
I normally don’t blog about work – but this week I had a client with an adventure that is worthy: I have been working with my client to do ground-up business operations creation and about two months ago, they purchased an 87 foot catamaran in plans of providing sightseeing and event services on the Potomac River in the DC metro area. The boat was purchased after providing service in South Carolina, and spent about 8 weeks in Morehead City, NC, out of the water having mechanical, operational, and cosmetic work performed. I agreed to go with the owner and a recently hired captain, Mike, to do some last stages of work and bring the boat up to DC from North Carolina.

Pics: a) A big barn, with a big guy acting like a little kid; b) I wonder how you get that driver's license; b) Splashing the boat

Feb 22-23
A hole in the water
We met early on Monday and drove to North Carolina (about six hours) in the owner’s car. There was some debate with the yard regarding the price of some of the services that had been rendered, and they kept the boat in the yard, on blocks, pending the receipt of payment. After negotiations, the boat was pulled from a garage required for the bottom paint because the temperatures in the area hadn’t been above the required 40 degrees. With the boat in the water, we were on schedule for a Wednesday morning departure.
We did most of the cosmetic work and waited for the final touches on the two main engines and the two generators on the boat. Late on Tuesday it was identified that when the generators were engaged, they were giving over 20% more power to the electrical panel than they should have. We made calls to mechanics to see if they could get to the yard ASAP.

Feb 24
Because the boat is 87 feet and draws about 6 feet, it is one of the larger boats that would use the intracoastal waterway (ICW). There are few spots along the route that can accommodate a vessel of that size, so to tie up there is some planning involved (sleeping on the boat is not an option as the boat has no sleep, shower, or galley options). The Alligator River Bridge has a rule that if the wind is blowing over 25knots, it will not open – further complicating our route planning. To make any landing site, we would have to get out of Morehead City before 10 am, otherwise, we would only have to turn around and come back.
As lack of luck would have it, the mechanic didn’t make it to the boat until after lunch. There were some settings on the generators that had to be modified. It was frustrating because the settings were adjusted by trial and error – something that we could have done.

Feb 25
The owner dropped transport captain, Pete, Mike and I in the morning, and we left the marina at Morehead City at 7am. The first leg of the trip was about 150 miles. We cruised up the ICW averaging 20knots (taking into consideration some areas that are ‘no wake’) with very little boat traffic in the cold weather. While relatively narrow at about fifty yards across, the canal is well dredged with an average of 16 feet of depth in the channel. About fifty miles into the trip, the boat jarred suddenly – the port engine went dead and the boat pulled to the west side of the canal.
Pete and Mike were able to restart the engines, and back the boat into the canal. When the engines were put forward, the boat began vibrating dramatically when we powered up. Pete shrugged and explained that it was likely that the propeller was bent. The boat wasn’t incapacitated; we were still able to make 10knots without vibration. Because we were in the channel, the likely culprit was a submerged log of some sort – but it meant that the boat was going to need work prior to getting back to DC. We made half-speed to our destination marina.

Pics: a) the wake at 20knots; b) Like any other highway - there are mile markers along the route

Coinjack Marina: we were about an hour out of Coinjock after rocking and rolling across the Pamlico Sound when we called them to see if the motel in town had rooms. It did, but it was closed from Feb 15-28th. The nearest other facility was more than an hour drive from the marina, as was the nearest cab. However, the marina had a room over the restaurant that sleeps six... two beds, two air mattresses, and two couches. We tied up, checked in, and had dinner all within ten yards of each other. Good: The restaurant has a prime rib special everynight (if you eat the 32oz portion it is free) and I got one of the beds! Bad: The restaurant has karaoke on Thursday nights, and the floor is not very well insulated.

Pics: a) it is the Coinjock Ritz (that is Pete having some deep fried peanuts); b) If you don't like peanuts, you can have fresh fowl from the cooler.

Feb 26 (A penguin walks into the auto shop)
We got underway at 6:30, when there was good light to get up the ICW. While we didn’t make good speed, we had mostly smooth water because the winds weren’t too bad, and we were protected by the narrow nature of that portion of the ICW. After going for a few hours, I went up to the wheelhouse to let the captain know that there was a smell of smoke coming from the starboard engine room. Because the starboard prop had not been damaged, this was a real mystery – not only was there some smoke, there was water entering the engine compartment from the shaft – as well as water in the starboard mid-compartment. The smoke was attributed to a seal around the shaft that had partially blown. We made Norfolk by 1pm.
I had made arrangements with a diver to meet us at Norfolk – he would pull the port propeller from the shaft and take it to a shop that I had contacted where it would be reconditioned and then hopefully reinstalled so we could make way on Saturday morning. We tied up and put 800 gallons of diesel fuel in the boat, and waited for the diver – who called at 12:50 to tell us that he couldn’t make it. I made arrangements with a third diver (second was unavailable) who sent a team out and removed the prop. He took them to the propeller shop that worked late into the night repairing the damaged propeller.

Pics: I've been over and under bridges, but this is the first time through a) a draw bridge; b) a side swing bridge; c) a middle swing bridge. My first time through a canal -d) the Great Bridge Locks has a sign to read while you wait to go through

Feb 27
The divers arrived at the dock at 7am with the repaired propeller and their equipment. They gave a confident thumbs-up as they boarded and told us that they would have us out of there in an hour – a requirement because the trip to DC was 10 hours at 20knots, we wouldn’t have a chance to make the trip at 10knots.
Estimated time to install port propeller: 1hr
Water temperature: 40 degrees
The divers, wearing dry suits, attached inflated tire tubes to the 150lb propeller so it wouldn’t sink to the bottom and could be installed, and got in the water. They struggled with the cold water, the mild wind rocking the boat, and the weight of the propeller – and failed to get the prop on. At 9am the original diver called to check on the progress. I told him that we were delayed, but asked what his schedule was – at 1pm I called him and asked him to take over the project. He arrived an hour later with two carts: one that provided compressed air to a mask (non-scuba) and a second that sucked in and then heated water, then pumped the water to his regular diving suit. The two sets of divers worked together until 10:30pm when the propeller was properly mounted on the shaft.
Actual time to install a propeller: 16 hours
Reason for delay: Morning divers dropped shaft key and couldn’t retrieve

Pics: a) cheap joke showing 1. gonads, 2. mental accuity; b) Diver with floats on prop; c) Team C divers helping team A get prop on shaft;

Feb 28 (almost there)
We waited until the sun broke the horizon, and got underway just after 6am. The boat operated beautifully and made over 20knots as we cruised through the navy base, the Chesapeake bay, and up the Potomac river. We managed to cruise 180 miles in under 9 hours and tie the boat up at National Harbor, Maryland.

Pics: a) best 'employee parking' ever. b) Home port - near "the awakening" at National Harbor

The characters:
Pete, the delivery captain - About 67, and makes his retirement living by repossessing boats (he likes to say 'stealing') and smokes like a chimney. A few years ago he had “prostrate” cancer so he doesn’t drink anymore. All stories start with “This one time I was running a [insert number from 30-70] foot [insert manufacturer of boat]” or “I used to go out with a girl named [insert stripper name]”. Average cups of coffee per day: 16. Common quote: “I care an awful lot about me.” Description of most media: “That newspaper isn’t fit to wrap fish.”
Mike is the retired coast guard Captain who served 26 years. He likes to voice his opinions about things with or without solicitation. Major observations: “Winter Olympics isn’t sports – it is crap.” “I hate a weak stirrer. Give me a spoon anyday.”

Nauts:
Knot: a unit of speed equal to one nautical mile per hour
Nautical Mile: a unit of length corresponding approximately to one minute of arc of latitude along any meridian
1 international knot = 1.151 miles per hour (approximately)
Common Name for the ICW: “the ditch”
When portions or ICW were started: 1793
Propeller Dimensions: 36" x 34pitch
34 pitch: Each rotation of the propeller should cover 34” distance
Ideal operating RPM: 1400
ICW marker at start of trip: 200
Norfolk marker: 0
During the Civil War - both the North and South sank vessels in the canal to block traffic
Buoy colors: Red, Right, Return.... and in the ICW, Red, Right South
Drawbridges: 7 (most open on the hour)
Canal locks: 1 (on demand)

January 16, 2010

Something’s Stewing

So there are few things as wonderful as making a good stew while the snow is piling up outside. It is less productive than shoveling the driveway, but it is much more filling. So I took the “Winter Stews” cooking class at the Reston Community Center.

Despite getting up early on a Saturday morning, the class was pretty fun. It kicked off at 9:30am with five people in the class (10 people registered but must have gotten distracted by the tai chi class going on in the main room). It was me, two women in their 30’s, a woman in her 50’s and an older gentleman named Ivan. The class was taught by Chef John Bauhs – a former drummer in a band who now makes his living as a personal chef for people with the means for a personal chef and occasionally for rock bands (he was planning on cooking for Cheap Trick in Charlottesville the next week).

The class dove in immediately to make six different stews simultaneously with sides of breadsticks and cornbread muffins. The chef let the class be free form where no one had direct tasks, and everyone did what they were comfortable with. Whenever there was a question on measuring or techniques the chef had a great attitude like, “you can’t go wrong.” We cooked for about three hours and then sat around enjoying the fruits of our labor. While the recipes were all easy and good (Ginger Carrot Soup, Chicken and Rice Soup, Southwestern Chili, Broccoli and Cheese Soup, Italian Tomato Soup, and Jambalaya) the standout was the Carrot Ginger. We all left with full stomachs and a stapled together cookbook.

Ginger Carrot Soup
6tbsp unsalted butter
1lg. yellow onion, chopped
.25c finely chopped ginger root
3 cloves garlic, minced
7 c chicken stock
1.5lb carrots, peeled, cut into .5” pieces
2tbsp fresh lemon juice
Pinch curry powder
Salt & ground pepper
Snipped fresh chives or parsley

1. Melt butter in large stock pot over medium heat. Add onion, ginger, and garlic: sauté for 15-20min;
2. Add stock and carrots. Heat to boiling. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered over medium heat until the carrots are very tender, about 45 min;
3. Puree the soup in a blender or processor (fitted with steel blade). Season with lemon juice, curry powder, salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle with chives or parsley. Serve hot or cold.

Additional Chef notes:
Most of the flavor in the ginger is near the surface – rather than using a peeler, peel with a spoon;
Unsalted butter is usually fresher (salt is a preservative);
Mir Pois Ratio: 3parts onion, 2parts carrot, 1part celery;
Better Than Bullion is a more natural product;
The spectrum of Roux goes from white, blonde, chestnut, to black;
People who go to swing dance events get mad if the drummer misses the beat.

If you want another great recipe… Caleb has documented the San Diego Variation of Mackattack (http://calebanddana.wordpress.com/2010/02/01/quick-trip-back-to-virginia-for-work/)

December 29, 2009

Get BOMBED!

So it is about time that I started wrapping up some older projects so I can start enjoying their fruits, and clear the decks for new projects. Specifically, SuperBrewDay is around the corner as I have all the necessary ingredients, so the complimentary project is to complete Operation Kegerator.

I left off on this project after I had finished most of the heavy lifting. There were a few small bits to organize – and I had to get small rubber gaskets to go in all of the fittings. The 10lb CO2 tank with the dual gauge regulator fits nicely in the back of the space, and the five gallon soda keg in the front. I ran 3/16” tubing to the tap.

Additional mods: I installed an old external thermostat that my uncle had in his equipment. The device is what the kegerator is plugged into, and it in turn is plugged into the power supply. Only when the probe run into the depths of the keg area matches the temperature selected on the dial will it receive electricity to run. That was the main problem when I did the initial construction, the compressor seemed to run all the time! Hopefully this will make it a more economically and environmentally friendly appliance. I also went ahead and made a temporary tap handle using a broom stick and a classic ½” drill bit - but I don't have a power drill bit that large, so it required manual labor. Which left me parched.


5k words: a) the connections; b) overview of dispenser guts; c) external thermostat; d) a drill that is older than this project; e) malty dividends, project complete!



Telling it like it was:
Trips to home depot: 1
Money Spent on Project Phase: $2.07
Profanity used: 0
Price of a new Danby DKC645BLS: $599.00 (http://www.kegerators.com/)
Price of a used kegerator (Cheap!): $300.00 (http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/)
Price of a used pepsi machine: barter a used 32” WEGA
Number of hours spent converting: approx 30
Current DOL Federal Minimum Wage: $5.85
Estimated on-air hourly rate paid to Brian Williams for anchoring nightly news*: $76,923
Size of soda keg (pictured): 5 gallon
Estimated number of pints: 40
Cost per pint home brew: ~ $0.95
Retail of 12oz can of miller lite, yuengling, or seltzer water at my vending machine: $0.50
Retail of any size glass of beer (limit 40 pints): $0.00


*$10M Salary, half hour taping, 5 days a week

December 13, 2009

Bomb the BASS!

So I am now a homeowner, so my footloose adventures wandering around will be replaced with more mundane projects and tasks. While lamentable, the reduction of my adventures will still be documented so I can share with family and friends what I am doing, and I’ll be able to remember it later.

Sometime in 2008, home entertainment center cooked out the circuit board in his subwoofer. He wrote away to the company and got a replacement board, but for some reason the new circuit board was a different size from the original. For at least fourteen months I’ve been listening to sub-par sub-woofer and staring at the circuit board laying on top of the box. Today I was going to go to the quarry and get a truck load of gravel to handle the mouse problem, but time was tight so I tackled something more manageable. It really doesn’t need much explanation – I made the hole bigger, and routed it so the panel would sit flat, then used some shoe polish to darken the MDF, drilled some pilot holes and assembled.

a) before, b) during, c) after






Datum Multiplied
Trips to home depot: 0
Money Spent on Project: $0
Profanity used: 0
MDF: Medium Density Fiber Board
KMFDM: Kein Mehrheit Fur Die Mitleid, German Industrial Rock Band (aka Kill M.F. Depeche Mode)
GDP Germany: $2.925 Trillion
International Rank: 6
Exxon Mobile Revenues: $0.443 Trillion
Fortune 500 Rank: 1
GDP of Egypt (#27): $0.445 Trillion
Population of Egypt: 83 Million
Population (employees) of Exxon: 80,000

September 10-13, 2009

Panama

So in January 1984, Van Halen (with original line-up) released “1984.” The album’s title track had nothing to do with George Orwell, and while the year was a leap year “Jump” seemed to be just a pop song, and finally the third track on the album was “Panama” which reached #13 on the billboard charts. While I remember the song, it was only after reading the lyrics on the internet that I realized that the song has nothing to do with anything outside of David Lee Roth’s libido. I was in the 4th grade and didn’t know what libido is or where Panama is. My friend Derek, however managed to meet a woman of Panamanian descent and 25 years later organize a wedding in Panama City.

I flew down on Thursday morning, very early, and landed at Tocumen airport. There was a shuttle waiting for us at the airport and we were wisked away to the recently remodeled Sheraton Hotel and Conference center (and attached 24hr casino). Because I forgot my toothbrush I ventured out to the grocery store, but my only other adventure was a nap at the pool before dinner (La Posta) and a cocktails at a nightclub (Pure).

Friday I participated in a group tour – 13 of us took a minibus inland to the Gamboa Reserve Rainforest. We were split into groups of five and there was a sky-ride / airtram ride up a mountain with a guide who explained the flora & fauna of the area (127 different snake species and only 24 of them are poisonous). There was a great vista of where the Chagres River dumps into Gatun Lake and the “culebra (snake) cut.” There was an indigenous people exhibit and some nature and a lunch before the boat ride to “monkey island.” It was a nice covered boat ride onto the lake and up close to the large ships transiting the canal. Not a resort or anything, the guide just took the boat to some islands in the lake where they were able to call Capuchin monkeys into climbing on the boat and checking the people out. The total boat ride was 1hr but it was a great mix of riding in the air, seeing boats, and nature.

By Saturday, all the friends that I never get to see were in town, so the day was spent talking, drinking, eating, and drinking just in time for the wedding. After which there was more eating and drinking and talking and drinking. Sunday was a recovery, redskins fiasco, and travel day.


Pics: a) the tram up the mountain; b) vista of the Chagres River running under that bridge and into the Culebra Cut & Gatun Lake; c) the boat with lettering (it wasn't that bad); d) crocodiles that inhibit the urge to swim and urge life preservers; e) more friendly residents of the canal zone; f) it is the rainy season - at the top of the hill on the right you can see the tower we took pics from earlier; g) jive one lane bridge over the Chagres River... you can engineer an amazing canal but a bridge?



Facts
In Panama City one can watch the sunrise over the pacific ocean thanks to the interesting curve in geography;
The city was sacked by the pirate Henry Morgan in 1671 – Pirates of the Caribbean in the pacific style. As a result, the city was moved to the southwest (but up the pacific coast) to the peninsula;
You can still get a “captain & coke” in bars;
If you want a rum & coke… you can order it by name and be understood. if you order a “cuba libre” you get a rum & coke with a lime wedge;
The boats in the canal go west to east in the morning, and east to west in the afternoon;
It takes 52 million gallons of water to pass a boat through the 3 sets of locks;
The Panama Canal operates by gravity only – there are no pumps;
"Pump" was released by Aerosmith in 1989.

August 25, 2009

UPDATES

An update on things that are going on in Reston. The more I watch “news” I wish they would follow up on previous stories – especially the ones that were sensational. It isn’t international diplomacy, but it is what I am memorializing.

a) Nature is abundant… this is my buddy the deer who hangs out in the back yard periodically. She has a boyfriend who is a large buck with a pretty big rack (appropriate use of the term). Researching I learned that the size of the rack has nothing to do with age, but I prefer to think that he is a wise old buck who has figured out not to cross the road, even to get to the other side.


b) Unnatural nature is also abundant… in the many sized pots that live on my deck, away from Buck, Doe, and the other Nature. Despite my travel for work and social reasons, mother nature has been able to keep the basil and tomatoes growing nicely. A while ago, we tied ropes across the banisters of the deck to serve where supporting poles would have served. The cooperative living space for the Pink Lady Tree and a rosemary shrub has also done so well that I’m going to have to prune the tree and get some red-skinned potatoes.




c) I’m still tracking my fuel consumption and the efficiency of The Beast. The stats are somewhat misleading because when I travel and rent a car, I don’t track the many miles and gallons that are consumed – I rationalize non-tracking because I rarely get the same model vehicle, and I drive them like the rentals they are. That is likely understating the gross miles and gas (and downstream averages) of my carbon tireprint. I will spare the detail, for now, but here are the current totals.

08/08/09 Most Recent Data
01/17/08 First Data Point
569 Period of Reference (Days)
31,746 Total Miles
1,759 Total Gallons
$5,226.74 Total Financial Drain
55.7935 Average Miles per Day
0.0554 Average Gallons per Mile
3.0912 Average Daily Consumption

July 17, 2009

Why I like to drive and camp.


So I was going to San Antonio for an important meeting with my client and a series of their vendors. While I was scheduled with plenty of time to get to Texas and be early for a dinner with the business partners, everything unraveled when the flight attendant at Dulles Airport was not able to take the flight and it was cancelled - everyone had to stand in a long single file line and wait to be rebooked to their final destination. One of the less patient passengers loudly speculated that it was a hangover or "woman problems." The woman behind the counter gave him a problem getting to Baton Rouge... I think she was connecting him through Denver.


The flight was merely the first in a series of cascading events that brings about this post. While I was delayed, stood by, scampered, and sat next to the largest woman I've met in a long time (I thought our row might actually be a hazard to the safety of the flight) - but the point is that I arrived in San Antonio about six hours later than planned. Suffice it to say that I was a little disappointed when I had to help the nice non-english speaking maid pull out a couch.


A redacted version of my letter follows:


Hilton Corporate Services

RE: Customer Visit, Confirmation: 82485393 / Folio: 530911
Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is BXXXX McXXXXXXXX (Hilton Rewards: XXXXXXX), I was a guest at the Double Tree Hotel, San Antonio airport July 15, 2009. I have been a business traveler for the past 12 years – visiting multiple brands, including Hilton. This letter is the first formal correspondence I have ever prepared in response to the lodging conditions I encountered in my recent stay.

Upon check-in, the desk clerk requested the assistance of the Asst. Front Desk Mgr, Robert XXXXXX, to inform me that the hotel was oversold (normally 10%, but due to it being a weekday it was now at 20%) and the only room available had a “nice” fold-out bed. In appreciation for my patience, they would reduce my rate and offer me a free breakfast. I was in town at client expense to participate in a presentation (at the Double Tree meeting facility) to 36 of my client’s top vendors in South Texas where we would be providing a catered breakfast (by a Double Tree vendor). I asked if there were other accommodations and was informed that there were, but they would not be within walking distance (imperative for the pre-meeting prep scheduled for 6:45am).

Mr. XXXXXX, in an attempt to accommodate me, did give me a voucher for a free drink at Cascabel Restaurant & Bar, but I am concerned that options that were presented were below the standards I expect from Hilton brands. My frustration with this situation prompts this correspondence, and I have included images of the situation

The inventory of room 504[1] is:
· 1 conference room table (seats 8 comfortably)
· 12 chairs - 8 conference room; 1 office, 2 sitting; 1 with ottoman
· 4 tables - 1 coffee, 1 conference, 1 desk, 1 mirrored for coffee service
· 1 two cushion couch (greenish with tears in cushions) [2];
· 1 armoire with flat screen television (facing sitting chairs);
· 1 sixteen inch brown stain between the bathroom and exit door[3];
· 1 closet with TWO hangers;
· 2 telephones (only one working) neither within eight feet of couch;
· 1 pull-out couch[4].

I was pleased that the automated wake-up call system worked, but was mildly annoyed that the call arrived ten minutes before the scheduled time (a similar result was mentioned by a member of my client team). Fortunately the meeting room was appropriately prepared and the technical support (Shane) was knowledgeable and responsive to our requirements.

I am not writing to hold Hilton hostage for the $80.56 this property charged or Hilton Rewards points and status; I think this situation has established that I will no longer consider Hilton brands for my lodging requirements. I ask that your company remove me from the mailing lists (electronic and USPS) related to rewards promotions or offer services from partners (credit cards) that I did not ask for and see as unnecessary.


Sincerely,

BXXXX McMXXXXXX
[1] Please reference Picture 1 for a general view of the room.
[2] Please reference Picture 2 for close-up of these cushions.
[3] Please reference Picture 3 for a photo of the stain on the floor.
[4] Please reference picture 4 for a close-up of pull-out couch.




I received a reply via email indicating that Hilton is looking into the situation. If anything interesting arrives, I'm sure Caleb will goad me into sharing it.

June 28, 2009

BREWDAY

So I am finally pushing my brewing skills a little bit by trying to do a fifteen gallon batch – my uncle George had prepared the equipment but never put it into use, and since I acquired the equipment I’d only used it as space and weight during moves to at least three different living situations. As with all my brewing episodes, the first time is a lot of excitement, learning, mess, and wonder if it will come out alright.

Process for all grain brewing: Add crushed malted grain to 150 degree water and maintain temperature for one hour. Raise temperature of mash to 170 degrees for ten minutes. Pour off liquid (wort) into secondary container, add hops at varying schedules, and boil wort for one hour. Chill wort as rapidly as possible, pour into tertiary container and when cooled to room temperature add yeast and stand back.

Fortunately Lindsey was around for brew day – and was a tremendous help in the process, especially since the false bottom in the mash container failed to keep the grain from pouring out as we attempted to pour the wort into the boil container. As a result, we used a couple of pots and filters / screens to quart by quart strain the wort to avoid getting grain into the boil pot (boiling the grains would lead to super bitter beer). The lack of elbow joints at the outlets also cause scalding liquid to go all over. We managed to complete the transfers and a shopping list for my next trip to home depot.

Pictures: a) the equipment pre brew; b) the ingredients pre brew – my home brew only contains water, grain, hops, and yeast; c) Lindsey adding about thirty pounds of crushed grain (in stages);

d) hop pellets that condense and preserve the delicate flowers/leaves; e) yeast that comes in a bag in a bag – the smack-pack allows one to break the inner bag, allowing yeast to mingle with starter and by the time it is pitched billyuns and billyuns of yeast cells are ready; f) the full equipment, on the rack, after I’d added the elbow joints

The aftermath: adding thirty pounds of semi-depleted grains to my modest compost pile caused the mini-ecosystem to crash. the smell of the rotting grains has brought a bunch of flies and other baddies to my pile... I have covered it with potting soil to try to mask the smell lest my neighbors believe I am burying bodies.

Video (be patient): www.mackatwork.com/videos/20090628-BREWDAY(9).MOV - That is a six gallon carboy about 24 hours after brewing and adding yeast. The plastic contraption on top providing audio is an air-lock that prevents contaminants from being introduced - the bubbling gas is alcohol infused carbon dioxide.

June 25, 2009

Start: Starved Rock State Park, Utica, Illinois
End: HQ – Reston, VA

Waking up to dozens of birds making unique and amazing sounds is actually quite pleasant – if only they had a snooze button. The 5:30 wake-up was made less unpleasant after half a quart of luscious chocolate milk, and after a lazy breaking of camp (everything thrown into the bed of the beast) wheels were rolling by 6am local time. For giggles I went ahead and plugged HQ into the Garmin and saw that in just 12 hours I could be home. Unfortunately the program was aiming me at Chicago and its rushhour so instead I was able to take state roads Illinois 23 south to 24 east and drove it, with the Garmin perpetual updating me with u-turn options, until I crossed into Indiana. Then I hopped on the interstate and rolled for a long while, seeing the hotel in Indianapolis where I lived for eight months 1999-2000.

Monitoring the olde crack-phone I needed to prepare and transmit some documents, so just west of Dayton I started searching for wireless, and because the nearest Starbucks in the 2006 Garmin was in Cincinnati, I pulled into a Holiday Inn. Unfortunately their wireless was password secured, so I had to chat, negotiate, and smile a lot at the women at the front desk to get the password, which they eventually shared. To save you the burden, if you are at the Holiday Inn in Englewood, OH the username is “Excellent” and the password is “Guest.”

The Garmin Nuvi surprised me when I pulled into Pennsylvania – I’ve done the 70 drive several times and expected to be put on the Pennsylvania turnpike but after some u-turns through construction sites I ended up on National Road. It was great that I was able to take a historic road, a beautiful drive, and the fastest route all in one! It was fun to drive where the speed limit was irrelevant as on the way up some mountains it was tough to get beyond third gear, while on the backside I’d be coasting with both feet on the break at 80mph.

Pics: a) even after putting on a long sleeve shirt and some sunblock - i ended up with a sunburn on my left hand; b) all that time on the road - not many opportunities for interesting, or attractive, pictures; c) the scourge of the neighborhood!

Day Miles: 796
Trip Miles: 3,398
People required if holding hands (4ft diameter) for hands-across-mack’s-trip: 4,485,360
Population of Croatia: 4,489,409
Percent of border of Croatia (land & sea borders) on this trip: .69.95%
Fifteen hour day – door to door average speed: 53.08 mph
States: 7 (IL, IN, OH, WV, PA, MD, VA)
Bananas consumed: 4
Starbucks in Dayton, OH (starbucks.com): 10
Starbucks visited since 6/7: 0
Cute cheese song: Taylor Swift, “love story”
Creepy cheese song: Duet “love story” of Taylor Swift and Def Leppard
Respective ages of Taylor Swift and Joe Elliot: 19, 49
Beast mileage at purchase (12/29/2006): 20,775
Current mileage: 73,664

June 24, 2009

Start: Carroll, IA
End: Starved Rock State Park, Utica, Illinois

I worked a half day at the client site trying to tie up loose ends and put things in motion until I will fly back out in 11 days, and shortly after lunchtime I busted out and drove route 30 east all the way across Iowa. It was a lot of corn fields – making me really want to see the upcoming movie, “Food Inc.” that supposedly decries the subsidies that have made corn the number one crop in America, and the number one ingredient in things that we don’t associate with corn.

I was feeling pretty good so when I crossed the Mississippi at Davenport I decided to temp the weather luck and pulled out my trusty Rand McNally – dog-eared, soiled, and otherwise abused – road atlas, and spotted a couple of camping logos in central Illinois near LaSalle. Right off the exit ramp I stopped at a gas-mart and got a six pack of miller light and a bag of ice: the key requirements for any camping expedition. I also wanted to make sure the quart carton of chocolate milk in my cooler was going to be valid for breakfast on Thursday.

Nice thing about camping during the week – all the spots in the park are reserved for the weekend, but I had plenty of choices for nice wooded sites away from RV’s and other campers. I built a fire and got to the important task of relaxing. I’m not sure what it is with raccoons this year, but after it got dark, one of the bastards had the nerve to come into my site and chirp at me. I got a flaming stick and chased him off, and was glad I have over-packed on firewood and made a mighty blaze by which I could watch the leopard toads (my guess at taxonomy) try to even the score against the many many many bugs. I left the radio on in the beast and listened to the Chicago White Sox play the Los Angeles Dodgers, or rather the banter between the Chicago hosts as they insulted each other and talked about many things OTHER than the game at hand.

Finally I stoked the fire (safely that I can monitor from my tent window) and made for sleep. Even as I started typing this post, the bastard raccoon was back and he managed to open and spill my cooler! Clad in boxer shorts and armed with a brown business lace-up (of substantial size) and a Maglight, I chased the bastard off and found that he didn’t spill my quart carton of chocolate milk (with substantial relief). I conceded the cooler to the passenger seat of a sealed vehicle and made for sleep. Thursday I plan to cannonball and try to make it back to my own sweet sweet bed and likely an overgrown lawn and overstuffed mailbox.

Pics: a) menacing skies over Carroll; b) the homestead at Starved Rock; c) not starving at Miller Time; d) the old set camera (at a tilt) and timer and run game

Miles in Carroll County: 188
Day Miles: 338
Trip Miles: 2,602
Towns: IA – Glidden, Grand Junction, Ames, Cedar Rapids, Mount Vernon, DeWitt, Davenport; IL – Utica
Cost to camp for 24 hrs with 42’ RV, Electric hookup and satellite dish, family of four, using all the camp amenities: $25.00
Cost to camp in a tent for ten hours: $25.00
Hours in a week the camp store is open: 13 (Fri 3-7, Sat 10-7)
White Sox record home runs in a game: 7
Home runs hit 6/25: 6
Fourth inning guest in the press box: John Grunsfeld
Number of space missions: 5

June 17-23, 2009

Start: Carroll, IA
End: Carroll, IA

Things to do in Carroll, IA

This weekend the town was hosting a softball tournament – it started at 5:30pm on Friday and according to a guy I work with at the client, it was scheduled to run until midnight Friday and Saturday evenings and start at 7am Saturday and Sunday mornings including 28 teams playing simultaneous games on two fields in a minimum of three game tournament. There were bleachers that were mostly empty because most of the spectators were actually there to stand around, drink beer and chat – it was like a highschool football game where the action on the field is a pretext for socializing. The fact that tickets for cans of Bud products could be purchased for $2.50 each. And when you are done with your beer, just throw the can on the ground – there is a 5cent deposit on cans/bottles in Iowa so an army of pre-teen kids wandered through the crowd vying for cans.

Saturday morning I met up and played golf with the husband of a woman I work with, and her son, and her father. We played nine holes at the municipal course just north of town. After a rest, I then went to the country club and walked 18 holes by myself. Between the fact that residents of Carroll have to be members, it was hotter than blazes, and while I was playing there were three weddings going on in town in addition to the softball tournament – I played the course slowly and comfortably without having to wait or hurry. Saturday evening I checked out the new wine bar in the process of opening in town (http://www.santamariawinery.com/). I give them an “A” for effort (a marble topped bar and hearth) and “T” for nice try (poor food presentation, suspect service).

I sent an email to the distillery manager for Templeton Rye (http://www.templetonrye.com/) to see about getting a tour (and bottles) but was informed that there are no open tours until July 11th. While I was at the liquor store I struck up a conversation with the clerk about the availability of the sauce – I had heard that they were only delivering a case a month to the largest liquor store in town. She and the manager corrected me that it was a case every TWO months. They even showed me the statement the company had issued – that the product requires four years to produce and since they had expanded distribution to Iowa AND Illinois, they were simply over capacity. I suggested that they raise the price until they can get capacity up to speed. The clerk replied, “But then they wouldn’t sell as much!” I will offer free explanation of law of ‘supply and demand' to the distillery. For the record, I’m not a rye connoisseur but as far as potent potables, this one is going to need a can of coke.

So to close out the weekend, I went and saw the movie, “The Proposal”… partially because I know that Kim won’t go see it with me, and partially because I’m a sucker for a good romantic comedy. I give the movie a B – it is a serviceable comedy with well developed romance and actors and actresses that are appropriately cast. It can wait until a rainy day and a TBS movie marathon. Go ahead and make fun of me – but someone else is watching the ‘Take the Lead,’ ‘Save the Last Dance’ double feature!

Pics: a) gardens of crops - farming is business and smart farmers apply science. these signs indicate different seed types for corn and soybean; b) gardens of stone - i like to visit cemetaries and i'm often amazed at how long many widows live beyond their spouse (36 years!);

Day Miles: N/A
Trip Miles: 2,076
Towns: Carroll, Glidden, Coon Rapids, Willey, Deadham
Price to walk 18 holes Carroll Country Club: $36
Number of Aces, Eagles, Birdies: 0
Pars: 1
Scores at Bogey or above: 16
Holes closed for wedding: 1 (9th)
Date Beverage Container Deposit Law implemented in IA: 5/1/1979
Inflation from 1979 to 2009: 3.85%
Amount 5cent deposit should be to maintain parity of value: $0.16
Full price ticket for movie in Carroll: $7.00
Price for popcorn & soda: N/A (bad service + impatience)
June is national month of: Safety, Outdoors, Change Your Life
June 22nd is national day of: Stupid Guy Thing Day
References to “whiskey & rye” in “American Pie” (song, not movie): 7
Expected Blood Alcohol Level* if playing drinking game: .23
Where the music died 2/3/1959 – Clear Lake, IA
Google search results for “Wealth of Nations”: 1,570,000
Results of “Name Adam Smith” in Wolfram Alpha: 72nd most popular name “Adam”

*120lb Woman… 240lb man = .11

June 16, 2009

Start: Pella, IA
End: Carroll, IA

This is, after all, a business trip – I had an early (for me) conference call with the bosses at my client to review some work I had done. There were some substantial revisions and concerns so it was good that I had powered through on Monday – I was able to hop in the beast and mosey northwest in time for face-to-face meetings with some of the stakeholders in the afternoon. In an act of foolishness I decided that all roads in Iowa ran North/South and East/West so I figured I could take all paved roads North or West to their conclusion and make my way – unfortunately I ended up on a road that was going North East and all the cross roads were unpaved. After a few miles I decided to take one of the unpaved roads West, and as luck would have it, the road went VERY far before it met up with something paved, and with all the rain recently, the beast was well coated in a mud.

I made in time for my afternoon meetings and managed to get out of the office at a reasonable hour. I’ve decided that I am going to take advantage of one of the great parks in America – Swan Lake State Park in Iowa – it has a measure 3.8 mile track around the lake, part of the Sauk Rail Trail that links to a trail to neighboring Lake View about thirty miles away – home of the best prime rib I’ve ever had (Ryan’s – bring cash, no cards accepted). I stick to Swan Lake where I’ve yet to see a swan but there is a petting zoo (pigs, goats), eagle enclosure, three bison, and dozens of camping spots.

I have been coming to Carroll for almost three years now – at least one week a month on average, making it my home away from Virginia. For context, Carroll is a legit city with over 10,000 residents including a hospital, three major fast food chains (McDonalds, Burger King, Subway), two major discount stores (WalMart, Kmart); an NPR affiliate (90.7) and Catholic Radio Station (103.1), but small enough that if you go to any of these places, you will bump into someone that works at the client site. It is why I’ve never been to Ossy’s Show Club (the only place to see live/strange boobs within a two hour drive) lest others see me seeing more of others.

Pics: a) two trains running west/east, east west through Carroll (over 50 per day) with wind generators in the background; b) the coolest dog in the coolest car outside the largest liquor store (2 in town)



Day Miles: 204
Trip Miles: 2,076
Towns: Reasnor, Newton, Collins, Nevada, Ames, Boone, Grand Junction, Glidden
Gas stations in Collins: 0
Lotteries Played: GA, TN, KY, IN, IL, MO, IA
Illinois Lotto Numbers 06/15/2009: 03-07-43-45-46-47 (FOUR CONSECUTIVE NUMBERS!)
My Winnings: $0
States visited that require adult motorcyclists to wear helmets: GA, NC, TN, MO… non: SC, KY, IL, IA
Common sights at state borders: motorcyclists putting on/taking off helmets, adult book stores, fireworks stands
Avg Winter Temp: 21.8F
Avg Summer Temp: 72.7F
Temperature Mon 6/22: 95F, feels like 109F
Square Inches of dry fabric after running Swan Lake: 0
Use of super sweaty shirt while cooling off: wiping mud off Beast
Subsequent usefulness of shirt: 0
Tears shed over “Coors Cold” promotional t-shirt: 0
Only catholic signatory of the US Declaration of Independence: Charles Carroll
My Wisdom: If you visit the shop of a custom cabinet-maker, and he has an extensive inventory – shop elsewhere (effective advice for any ‘custom’ provider with inventory)
Weirdest Cover Song: Bulgarian Women’s Choir covering “oh susanna” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2UJp3vN-y0&feature=PlayList&p=07A2DB6263466032&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=8
Random Question: Where did moths hang out before humans made ways to make light?