April 27, 2010

Roll With It

It would have been great if things had gone as planned – if Little Guy was floating in his slip I would have been able to work on the trailer in my driveway and then put it in storage at a buddy’s farm. Instead, I had to work on the trailer with the boat on it. I borrowed my brother’s floor jack, in conjunction with mine, and used them to jack the boat up, providing clearance to get the wheel on the metal cog. I had to use some wood to raise the jacks up so they would be able, in turn, to raise the boat properly. Unfortunately the position of the wheel near the middle of the boat meant that I had to jack the boat very high and pivot it against the bow support. Even with the wood and the jacks at maximum extension I was unable to get the three or four inches of clearance required to mount the new wheel on the support.

Time to go with a plan B. I considered going to Home Depot and buying a smaller diameter wheel that would be able to serve as a temporary replacement for the proper wheel. But really what I needed was something that could serve as a padded support for transport to avoid further damage to the hull, and not be an obstacle for the eventual launch. I searched the garage to find something that could meet this requirement.

I don’t have an inventory of wheels, but I do have a pile of lacrosse balls in a box of sporting goods. I pulled out my drill and trusty collection of drill bits and drilled a half inch hole in a lacrosse ball and wedged it over the square steel support rail.

Pics: a) The problem; b) The solution; c) The next problem; d) The next solution; e) Solved!

Project Expense: $0.00
Say’s Law formulation by John Maynard Keynes: “Supply creates its own demand”
Remaining lacrosse ball inventory: 18
Greg Rynne’s number at TJHSST Lacrosse: 18
Woodbridge lax carpool numbers: Rynne – 18 (voter), Lance – 21 (drinker), Mack – 16 (driver)
Other balls in the box: field hockey, racquet, tennis, soft, foot (nerf and leather)

April 1, 2010

Fool’s Day

A Rose By Any Other Name…
I’ve seen a lot of clever names of boats. I decided that it would be nice to have a name for my little boat – something that would be clever but also be appropriate for the ultimate professional use I’d like to see from this boat. So, trying to leverage the smart people I know I created an email ring with my friends to come up with a name for where my funds will go, and here are the options that my friends came up with (some of the more amusing, yet inappropriate names have been redacted):

Big mack, Little mack, Water beast, Consulting, Consulting fee, The office, Client site, Deliverable, The little woman, My main squeeze, Patriot’s dingy, Patriot’s poop, My dirty dingy, It's a boat time, That's what I'm talking a boat!, Backed Raft, Mack Raft, The PotoMack, N'Sink, Sinking Suspicion, Sunk Cost, SS Minnowtaur, PotoMack, Mack Boat, Mack Beth, Mack the Knife, (Kobayashi Maru), If This Boat's a' Rocking - That's Because It's Small, Fat Guy in a Little Boat, Hanging with the Buoys, The Bro-at, Rod Holder, Where's the Reef?, The Anchor Sore, it's not the size of the boat., luke perry, whatcha talkin' a boat- willis, what's up dock, wake whatcha momma gave ya, mack-in-the-boat, 99 problems, but a boat ain't one, cap-n-mack's-wa-ter-craft, Nasty Bouy

While many were worth a laugh – I settled on “little guy.” It is appropriate for a boat serving as a tender for a larger vessel, it is not unprofessional, it matches how my friends with male children refer to their progeny, and… I won’t be embarrassed to order a decal with the name.

Boat terminology in culture (popular or otherwise)
Above Board: Pirates would hide crew members below decks to fool victims. When all the crewmen were on the deck then -- seeing is believing – the vessel was more likely to be an honest merchant ship.
All hands on deck: Nowadays we gather to discuss some task. Sailors did the same thing, but met on the deck.
Bamboozle: This was the word used to describe the deceit of pirates who flew an ensign of national origin other than their own.
Barge in: Most believe this term, used today to describe a tactless appearance or interruption, came about because barges are hard to maneuver.
Clean slate: Daily logs were kept on a slab of slate. Each new watch officer would erase the previous entries.
Knows the ropes: It took an experienced seaman to know the function of all the ropes on a sailing vessel.
Passed with flying colors: Refers to a sailing ship that distinguished itself by flying all of its pennants and flags (called "colors") when passing other vessels.
Pipe down. Helmsmen told the crew members on deck that they could "pipe down," meaning their chores were done and they could return to their quarters below decks.
Scuttlebutt: To discourage idle chit-chat at the ship\’s water barrel, the drinking ladle had little holes in it so the water would leak if the sailor didn\’t drink it up fast. The holes were called scuttles.
Shape up: This was the term helmsmen used to refer to getting back on course to avoid danger.
Under the weather: The sailor who had to stand watch on the bow taking all the pounding and spray was said to be "under the weather."
Worth their salt: Salt actually was also used to pay Roman sailors. So any sailor "worth his salt" was worth what he was getting paid.


Other Boat Comments / Humor
Boats, Dogs, Women – things that you should borrow or rent rather than trying to own your own.
A boat is a hole in the water into which money is thrown.
The second happiest day of your life is when you buy a boat. The happiest is when you sell a boat.
Why did the new Spanish navy get glass bottom boats? So they could see the old Spanish navy.
What do you get when you cross a street with a boat? A hole in the hull.

March 28, 2010

A hole in the water ... I didn't learn by watching others.

I had hoped to keep this quiet until I was basking in the sun on the Potomac river, but circumstances of a humorousinthepast nature have presented themselves to merit a series of posts. As indicated in my IntraCoastal Waterway post, my primary client these days is in the maritime industry. I have applied for a grant to perform some analysis on behalf of this client that would be well accommodated by having a small watercraft… so I used this confluence of circumstances to fall into the midlifecrisis trap: buying a boat.

In January I found a deal on a 21’ Mako – center console with a 200hp motor that was owned by a nice guy in Muhrland who was looking to move up to a bigger boat. The boat was only $5k (negotiated $500 off), a great price for a running boat, but I knew from the ad that the boat might have challenges (foreshadowing) when the hull is older than Christina Alguilera and the motor is old enough to buy beer. The deal was good, the seller was pleasant, but the weather was not – a series of snow storms prevented me from picking up the boat in Februrary. I waited until March, bought the appropriate tow adaptor for the Beast, and dragged the boat about 80 miles back to HQ in Reston.

The Launch

I waited until a gorgeous spring day during the week to tow the boat back around the beltway to Bellehaven Marina in Alexandria (about 25miles). I paid the dock master $5 (it is an NPS site managed by a private firm – Read: government fixed pricing) to launch the boat. THEN THE FUN BEGINS!

To launch a boat from a trailer, one has to back the trailer down the ramp, loosen all the bindings on the boat (tie a rope to the boat or you’ll be sorry) and then ‘jerk’ the boat off the trailer. This boat had been sitting on the trailer for at least six months, and the trailer has old wheels (one of which missing, but a replacement part of the purchase) so I had to give the boat a hell of a jerk to get the boat to roll off the trailer into the water. In doing so, the hitch came detached so the boat released, and so did the trailer. If not for the safety chains, I would have a trailer at the bottom of the Potomac also. The trailer did pop up and dent the hell out of the back of my truck . The cursing begins.

Once in the water, the engine would not tilt down to put the propeller in the water. It was stuck in the up position and the motor wouldn't engage to lower it. After a brief profanity tirade, I called around and even used a hammer for a while. Eventually a mechanic was walking by and he found a bad connection in the relay. The motor was lowered.

Then I kept the mechanic (via Jackson twins) and we tried to get the motor started - but the boat wasn't having it. He started talking about carburetor rebuilds and then wandered off. I spent another half hour trying to get it started, but at this point I noticed that the large mechanic (with a LOT of asscrack displayed) and me at the back of the boat working on the motor had caused the boat to start filling up with water. Looking through the hatch, I could see the bilge pump (that should evacuate water from the hull) doing its best Good Humor (just chillin). Before I really had a boat at the bottom of the river, I decided to cut my losses and pulled the boat back to the ramp, put the beast back in, and managed to use the manual winch to get the incredibly heavy boat onto the trailer. Since there was a missing wheel on the trailer, and the weight, part of the trailer left an incredible scratch on the hull as I pulled the boat back onto the trailer.

I had to get to a meeting across the river, so I left the boat, on the trailer, at the marina and hoped I would not get a ticket. When I returned three hours later, there was no ticket, but the adaptor for the trailer lights had been swiped by a walker-by.
Incredibly deflated, pissed off, and frustrated, I pulled the hull plug and drained at least two hundred gallons of the Potomac around the beltway on my way home.

I averted my eyes every time I walked out of my house for two weeks before coming up with the list of things that needed to be repaired on the boat before risking part deux of this adventure:
a) Repair wheel on trailer – to avoid damage to hull during transport and launch;
b) Repair any damage to the hull;
c) Repair / Replace relays in tilt motor so it is more than a barge;
d) Repair / Replace bilge pump to avoid large water storage device / sinking;
e) Not to mention get lines and prepare them to appropriate lengths – the plan is to get a slip at National Harbor so I don’t have to launch the boat. I’d rather have the boat waiting in the water for humiliating moments.

Pic: So much optmism. (pay no attention to the damage to the lawn) - other pictures unavailable (thankfully)