December 29, 2009

Get BOMBED!

So it is about time that I started wrapping up some older projects so I can start enjoying their fruits, and clear the decks for new projects. Specifically, SuperBrewDay is around the corner as I have all the necessary ingredients, so the complimentary project is to complete Operation Kegerator.

I left off on this project after I had finished most of the heavy lifting. There were a few small bits to organize – and I had to get small rubber gaskets to go in all of the fittings. The 10lb CO2 tank with the dual gauge regulator fits nicely in the back of the space, and the five gallon soda keg in the front. I ran 3/16” tubing to the tap.

Additional mods: I installed an old external thermostat that my uncle had in his equipment. The device is what the kegerator is plugged into, and it in turn is plugged into the power supply. Only when the probe run into the depths of the keg area matches the temperature selected on the dial will it receive electricity to run. That was the main problem when I did the initial construction, the compressor seemed to run all the time! Hopefully this will make it a more economically and environmentally friendly appliance. I also went ahead and made a temporary tap handle using a broom stick and a classic ½” drill bit - but I don't have a power drill bit that large, so it required manual labor. Which left me parched.


5k words: a) the connections; b) overview of dispenser guts; c) external thermostat; d) a drill that is older than this project; e) malty dividends, project complete!



Telling it like it was:
Trips to home depot: 1
Money Spent on Project Phase: $2.07
Profanity used: 0
Price of a new Danby DKC645BLS: $599.00 (http://www.kegerators.com/)
Price of a used kegerator (Cheap!): $300.00 (http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/)
Price of a used pepsi machine: barter a used 32” WEGA
Number of hours spent converting: approx 30
Current DOL Federal Minimum Wage: $5.85
Estimated on-air hourly rate paid to Brian Williams for anchoring nightly news*: $76,923
Size of soda keg (pictured): 5 gallon
Estimated number of pints: 40
Cost per pint home brew: ~ $0.95
Retail of 12oz can of miller lite, yuengling, or seltzer water at my vending machine: $0.50
Retail of any size glass of beer (limit 40 pints): $0.00


*$10M Salary, half hour taping, 5 days a week

December 13, 2009

Bomb the BASS!

So I am now a homeowner, so my footloose adventures wandering around will be replaced with more mundane projects and tasks. While lamentable, the reduction of my adventures will still be documented so I can share with family and friends what I am doing, and I’ll be able to remember it later.

Sometime in 2008, home entertainment center cooked out the circuit board in his subwoofer. He wrote away to the company and got a replacement board, but for some reason the new circuit board was a different size from the original. For at least fourteen months I’ve been listening to sub-par sub-woofer and staring at the circuit board laying on top of the box. Today I was going to go to the quarry and get a truck load of gravel to handle the mouse problem, but time was tight so I tackled something more manageable. It really doesn’t need much explanation – I made the hole bigger, and routed it so the panel would sit flat, then used some shoe polish to darken the MDF, drilled some pilot holes and assembled.

a) before, b) during, c) after






Datum Multiplied
Trips to home depot: 0
Money Spent on Project: $0
Profanity used: 0
MDF: Medium Density Fiber Board
KMFDM: Kein Mehrheit Fur Die Mitleid, German Industrial Rock Band (aka Kill M.F. Depeche Mode)
GDP Germany: $2.925 Trillion
International Rank: 6
Exxon Mobile Revenues: $0.443 Trillion
Fortune 500 Rank: 1
GDP of Egypt (#27): $0.445 Trillion
Population of Egypt: 83 Million
Population (employees) of Exxon: 80,000

September 10-13, 2009

Panama

So in January 1984, Van Halen (with original line-up) released “1984.” The album’s title track had nothing to do with George Orwell, and while the year was a leap year “Jump” seemed to be just a pop song, and finally the third track on the album was “Panama” which reached #13 on the billboard charts. While I remember the song, it was only after reading the lyrics on the internet that I realized that the song has nothing to do with anything outside of David Lee Roth’s libido. I was in the 4th grade and didn’t know what libido is or where Panama is. My friend Derek, however managed to meet a woman of Panamanian descent and 25 years later organize a wedding in Panama City.

I flew down on Thursday morning, very early, and landed at Tocumen airport. There was a shuttle waiting for us at the airport and we were wisked away to the recently remodeled Sheraton Hotel and Conference center (and attached 24hr casino). Because I forgot my toothbrush I ventured out to the grocery store, but my only other adventure was a nap at the pool before dinner (La Posta) and a cocktails at a nightclub (Pure).

Friday I participated in a group tour – 13 of us took a minibus inland to the Gamboa Reserve Rainforest. We were split into groups of five and there was a sky-ride / airtram ride up a mountain with a guide who explained the flora & fauna of the area (127 different snake species and only 24 of them are poisonous). There was a great vista of where the Chagres River dumps into Gatun Lake and the “culebra (snake) cut.” There was an indigenous people exhibit and some nature and a lunch before the boat ride to “monkey island.” It was a nice covered boat ride onto the lake and up close to the large ships transiting the canal. Not a resort or anything, the guide just took the boat to some islands in the lake where they were able to call Capuchin monkeys into climbing on the boat and checking the people out. The total boat ride was 1hr but it was a great mix of riding in the air, seeing boats, and nature.

By Saturday, all the friends that I never get to see were in town, so the day was spent talking, drinking, eating, and drinking just in time for the wedding. After which there was more eating and drinking and talking and drinking. Sunday was a recovery, redskins fiasco, and travel day.


Pics: a) the tram up the mountain; b) vista of the Chagres River running under that bridge and into the Culebra Cut & Gatun Lake; c) the boat with lettering (it wasn't that bad); d) crocodiles that inhibit the urge to swim and urge life preservers; e) more friendly residents of the canal zone; f) it is the rainy season - at the top of the hill on the right you can see the tower we took pics from earlier; g) jive one lane bridge over the Chagres River... you can engineer an amazing canal but a bridge?



Facts
In Panama City one can watch the sunrise over the pacific ocean thanks to the interesting curve in geography;
The city was sacked by the pirate Henry Morgan in 1671 – Pirates of the Caribbean in the pacific style. As a result, the city was moved to the southwest (but up the pacific coast) to the peninsula;
You can still get a “captain & coke” in bars;
If you want a rum & coke… you can order it by name and be understood. if you order a “cuba libre” you get a rum & coke with a lime wedge;
The boats in the canal go west to east in the morning, and east to west in the afternoon;
It takes 52 million gallons of water to pass a boat through the 3 sets of locks;
The Panama Canal operates by gravity only – there are no pumps;
"Pump" was released by Aerosmith in 1989.

August 25, 2009

UPDATES

An update on things that are going on in Reston. The more I watch “news” I wish they would follow up on previous stories – especially the ones that were sensational. It isn’t international diplomacy, but it is what I am memorializing.

a) Nature is abundant… this is my buddy the deer who hangs out in the back yard periodically. She has a boyfriend who is a large buck with a pretty big rack (appropriate use of the term). Researching I learned that the size of the rack has nothing to do with age, but I prefer to think that he is a wise old buck who has figured out not to cross the road, even to get to the other side.


b) Unnatural nature is also abundant… in the many sized pots that live on my deck, away from Buck, Doe, and the other Nature. Despite my travel for work and social reasons, mother nature has been able to keep the basil and tomatoes growing nicely. A while ago, we tied ropes across the banisters of the deck to serve where supporting poles would have served. The cooperative living space for the Pink Lady Tree and a rosemary shrub has also done so well that I’m going to have to prune the tree and get some red-skinned potatoes.




c) I’m still tracking my fuel consumption and the efficiency of The Beast. The stats are somewhat misleading because when I travel and rent a car, I don’t track the many miles and gallons that are consumed – I rationalize non-tracking because I rarely get the same model vehicle, and I drive them like the rentals they are. That is likely understating the gross miles and gas (and downstream averages) of my carbon tireprint. I will spare the detail, for now, but here are the current totals.

08/08/09 Most Recent Data
01/17/08 First Data Point
569 Period of Reference (Days)
31,746 Total Miles
1,759 Total Gallons
$5,226.74 Total Financial Drain
55.7935 Average Miles per Day
0.0554 Average Gallons per Mile
3.0912 Average Daily Consumption

July 17, 2009

Why I like to drive and camp.


So I was going to San Antonio for an important meeting with my client and a series of their vendors. While I was scheduled with plenty of time to get to Texas and be early for a dinner with the business partners, everything unraveled when the flight attendant at Dulles Airport was not able to take the flight and it was cancelled - everyone had to stand in a long single file line and wait to be rebooked to their final destination. One of the less patient passengers loudly speculated that it was a hangover or "woman problems." The woman behind the counter gave him a problem getting to Baton Rouge... I think she was connecting him through Denver.


The flight was merely the first in a series of cascading events that brings about this post. While I was delayed, stood by, scampered, and sat next to the largest woman I've met in a long time (I thought our row might actually be a hazard to the safety of the flight) - but the point is that I arrived in San Antonio about six hours later than planned. Suffice it to say that I was a little disappointed when I had to help the nice non-english speaking maid pull out a couch.


A redacted version of my letter follows:


Hilton Corporate Services

RE: Customer Visit, Confirmation: 82485393 / Folio: 530911
Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is BXXXX McXXXXXXXX (Hilton Rewards: XXXXXXX), I was a guest at the Double Tree Hotel, San Antonio airport July 15, 2009. I have been a business traveler for the past 12 years – visiting multiple brands, including Hilton. This letter is the first formal correspondence I have ever prepared in response to the lodging conditions I encountered in my recent stay.

Upon check-in, the desk clerk requested the assistance of the Asst. Front Desk Mgr, Robert XXXXXX, to inform me that the hotel was oversold (normally 10%, but due to it being a weekday it was now at 20%) and the only room available had a “nice” fold-out bed. In appreciation for my patience, they would reduce my rate and offer me a free breakfast. I was in town at client expense to participate in a presentation (at the Double Tree meeting facility) to 36 of my client’s top vendors in South Texas where we would be providing a catered breakfast (by a Double Tree vendor). I asked if there were other accommodations and was informed that there were, but they would not be within walking distance (imperative for the pre-meeting prep scheduled for 6:45am).

Mr. XXXXXX, in an attempt to accommodate me, did give me a voucher for a free drink at Cascabel Restaurant & Bar, but I am concerned that options that were presented were below the standards I expect from Hilton brands. My frustration with this situation prompts this correspondence, and I have included images of the situation

The inventory of room 504[1] is:
· 1 conference room table (seats 8 comfortably)
· 12 chairs - 8 conference room; 1 office, 2 sitting; 1 with ottoman
· 4 tables - 1 coffee, 1 conference, 1 desk, 1 mirrored for coffee service
· 1 two cushion couch (greenish with tears in cushions) [2];
· 1 armoire with flat screen television (facing sitting chairs);
· 1 sixteen inch brown stain between the bathroom and exit door[3];
· 1 closet with TWO hangers;
· 2 telephones (only one working) neither within eight feet of couch;
· 1 pull-out couch[4].

I was pleased that the automated wake-up call system worked, but was mildly annoyed that the call arrived ten minutes before the scheduled time (a similar result was mentioned by a member of my client team). Fortunately the meeting room was appropriately prepared and the technical support (Shane) was knowledgeable and responsive to our requirements.

I am not writing to hold Hilton hostage for the $80.56 this property charged or Hilton Rewards points and status; I think this situation has established that I will no longer consider Hilton brands for my lodging requirements. I ask that your company remove me from the mailing lists (electronic and USPS) related to rewards promotions or offer services from partners (credit cards) that I did not ask for and see as unnecessary.


Sincerely,

BXXXX McMXXXXXX
[1] Please reference Picture 1 for a general view of the room.
[2] Please reference Picture 2 for close-up of these cushions.
[3] Please reference Picture 3 for a photo of the stain on the floor.
[4] Please reference picture 4 for a close-up of pull-out couch.




I received a reply via email indicating that Hilton is looking into the situation. If anything interesting arrives, I'm sure Caleb will goad me into sharing it.

June 28, 2009

BREWDAY

So I am finally pushing my brewing skills a little bit by trying to do a fifteen gallon batch – my uncle George had prepared the equipment but never put it into use, and since I acquired the equipment I’d only used it as space and weight during moves to at least three different living situations. As with all my brewing episodes, the first time is a lot of excitement, learning, mess, and wonder if it will come out alright.

Process for all grain brewing: Add crushed malted grain to 150 degree water and maintain temperature for one hour. Raise temperature of mash to 170 degrees for ten minutes. Pour off liquid (wort) into secondary container, add hops at varying schedules, and boil wort for one hour. Chill wort as rapidly as possible, pour into tertiary container and when cooled to room temperature add yeast and stand back.

Fortunately Lindsey was around for brew day – and was a tremendous help in the process, especially since the false bottom in the mash container failed to keep the grain from pouring out as we attempted to pour the wort into the boil container. As a result, we used a couple of pots and filters / screens to quart by quart strain the wort to avoid getting grain into the boil pot (boiling the grains would lead to super bitter beer). The lack of elbow joints at the outlets also cause scalding liquid to go all over. We managed to complete the transfers and a shopping list for my next trip to home depot.

Pictures: a) the equipment pre brew; b) the ingredients pre brew – my home brew only contains water, grain, hops, and yeast; c) Lindsey adding about thirty pounds of crushed grain (in stages);

d) hop pellets that condense and preserve the delicate flowers/leaves; e) yeast that comes in a bag in a bag – the smack-pack allows one to break the inner bag, allowing yeast to mingle with starter and by the time it is pitched billyuns and billyuns of yeast cells are ready; f) the full equipment, on the rack, after I’d added the elbow joints

The aftermath: adding thirty pounds of semi-depleted grains to my modest compost pile caused the mini-ecosystem to crash. the smell of the rotting grains has brought a bunch of flies and other baddies to my pile... I have covered it with potting soil to try to mask the smell lest my neighbors believe I am burying bodies.

Video (be patient): www.mackatwork.com/videos/20090628-BREWDAY(9).MOV - That is a six gallon carboy about 24 hours after brewing and adding yeast. The plastic contraption on top providing audio is an air-lock that prevents contaminants from being introduced - the bubbling gas is alcohol infused carbon dioxide.

June 25, 2009

Start: Starved Rock State Park, Utica, Illinois
End: HQ – Reston, VA

Waking up to dozens of birds making unique and amazing sounds is actually quite pleasant – if only they had a snooze button. The 5:30 wake-up was made less unpleasant after half a quart of luscious chocolate milk, and after a lazy breaking of camp (everything thrown into the bed of the beast) wheels were rolling by 6am local time. For giggles I went ahead and plugged HQ into the Garmin and saw that in just 12 hours I could be home. Unfortunately the program was aiming me at Chicago and its rushhour so instead I was able to take state roads Illinois 23 south to 24 east and drove it, with the Garmin perpetual updating me with u-turn options, until I crossed into Indiana. Then I hopped on the interstate and rolled for a long while, seeing the hotel in Indianapolis where I lived for eight months 1999-2000.

Monitoring the olde crack-phone I needed to prepare and transmit some documents, so just west of Dayton I started searching for wireless, and because the nearest Starbucks in the 2006 Garmin was in Cincinnati, I pulled into a Holiday Inn. Unfortunately their wireless was password secured, so I had to chat, negotiate, and smile a lot at the women at the front desk to get the password, which they eventually shared. To save you the burden, if you are at the Holiday Inn in Englewood, OH the username is “Excellent” and the password is “Guest.”

The Garmin Nuvi surprised me when I pulled into Pennsylvania – I’ve done the 70 drive several times and expected to be put on the Pennsylvania turnpike but after some u-turns through construction sites I ended up on National Road. It was great that I was able to take a historic road, a beautiful drive, and the fastest route all in one! It was fun to drive where the speed limit was irrelevant as on the way up some mountains it was tough to get beyond third gear, while on the backside I’d be coasting with both feet on the break at 80mph.

Pics: a) even after putting on a long sleeve shirt and some sunblock - i ended up with a sunburn on my left hand; b) all that time on the road - not many opportunities for interesting, or attractive, pictures; c) the scourge of the neighborhood!

Day Miles: 796
Trip Miles: 3,398
People required if holding hands (4ft diameter) for hands-across-mack’s-trip: 4,485,360
Population of Croatia: 4,489,409
Percent of border of Croatia (land & sea borders) on this trip: .69.95%
Fifteen hour day – door to door average speed: 53.08 mph
States: 7 (IL, IN, OH, WV, PA, MD, VA)
Bananas consumed: 4
Starbucks in Dayton, OH (starbucks.com): 10
Starbucks visited since 6/7: 0
Cute cheese song: Taylor Swift, “love story”
Creepy cheese song: Duet “love story” of Taylor Swift and Def Leppard
Respective ages of Taylor Swift and Joe Elliot: 19, 49
Beast mileage at purchase (12/29/2006): 20,775
Current mileage: 73,664

June 24, 2009

Start: Carroll, IA
End: Starved Rock State Park, Utica, Illinois

I worked a half day at the client site trying to tie up loose ends and put things in motion until I will fly back out in 11 days, and shortly after lunchtime I busted out and drove route 30 east all the way across Iowa. It was a lot of corn fields – making me really want to see the upcoming movie, “Food Inc.” that supposedly decries the subsidies that have made corn the number one crop in America, and the number one ingredient in things that we don’t associate with corn.

I was feeling pretty good so when I crossed the Mississippi at Davenport I decided to temp the weather luck and pulled out my trusty Rand McNally – dog-eared, soiled, and otherwise abused – road atlas, and spotted a couple of camping logos in central Illinois near LaSalle. Right off the exit ramp I stopped at a gas-mart and got a six pack of miller light and a bag of ice: the key requirements for any camping expedition. I also wanted to make sure the quart carton of chocolate milk in my cooler was going to be valid for breakfast on Thursday.

Nice thing about camping during the week – all the spots in the park are reserved for the weekend, but I had plenty of choices for nice wooded sites away from RV’s and other campers. I built a fire and got to the important task of relaxing. I’m not sure what it is with raccoons this year, but after it got dark, one of the bastards had the nerve to come into my site and chirp at me. I got a flaming stick and chased him off, and was glad I have over-packed on firewood and made a mighty blaze by which I could watch the leopard toads (my guess at taxonomy) try to even the score against the many many many bugs. I left the radio on in the beast and listened to the Chicago White Sox play the Los Angeles Dodgers, or rather the banter between the Chicago hosts as they insulted each other and talked about many things OTHER than the game at hand.

Finally I stoked the fire (safely that I can monitor from my tent window) and made for sleep. Even as I started typing this post, the bastard raccoon was back and he managed to open and spill my cooler! Clad in boxer shorts and armed with a brown business lace-up (of substantial size) and a Maglight, I chased the bastard off and found that he didn’t spill my quart carton of chocolate milk (with substantial relief). I conceded the cooler to the passenger seat of a sealed vehicle and made for sleep. Thursday I plan to cannonball and try to make it back to my own sweet sweet bed and likely an overgrown lawn and overstuffed mailbox.

Pics: a) menacing skies over Carroll; b) the homestead at Starved Rock; c) not starving at Miller Time; d) the old set camera (at a tilt) and timer and run game

Miles in Carroll County: 188
Day Miles: 338
Trip Miles: 2,602
Towns: IA – Glidden, Grand Junction, Ames, Cedar Rapids, Mount Vernon, DeWitt, Davenport; IL – Utica
Cost to camp for 24 hrs with 42’ RV, Electric hookup and satellite dish, family of four, using all the camp amenities: $25.00
Cost to camp in a tent for ten hours: $25.00
Hours in a week the camp store is open: 13 (Fri 3-7, Sat 10-7)
White Sox record home runs in a game: 7
Home runs hit 6/25: 6
Fourth inning guest in the press box: John Grunsfeld
Number of space missions: 5

June 17-23, 2009

Start: Carroll, IA
End: Carroll, IA

Things to do in Carroll, IA

This weekend the town was hosting a softball tournament – it started at 5:30pm on Friday and according to a guy I work with at the client, it was scheduled to run until midnight Friday and Saturday evenings and start at 7am Saturday and Sunday mornings including 28 teams playing simultaneous games on two fields in a minimum of three game tournament. There were bleachers that were mostly empty because most of the spectators were actually there to stand around, drink beer and chat – it was like a highschool football game where the action on the field is a pretext for socializing. The fact that tickets for cans of Bud products could be purchased for $2.50 each. And when you are done with your beer, just throw the can on the ground – there is a 5cent deposit on cans/bottles in Iowa so an army of pre-teen kids wandered through the crowd vying for cans.

Saturday morning I met up and played golf with the husband of a woman I work with, and her son, and her father. We played nine holes at the municipal course just north of town. After a rest, I then went to the country club and walked 18 holes by myself. Between the fact that residents of Carroll have to be members, it was hotter than blazes, and while I was playing there were three weddings going on in town in addition to the softball tournament – I played the course slowly and comfortably without having to wait or hurry. Saturday evening I checked out the new wine bar in the process of opening in town (http://www.santamariawinery.com/). I give them an “A” for effort (a marble topped bar and hearth) and “T” for nice try (poor food presentation, suspect service).

I sent an email to the distillery manager for Templeton Rye (http://www.templetonrye.com/) to see about getting a tour (and bottles) but was informed that there are no open tours until July 11th. While I was at the liquor store I struck up a conversation with the clerk about the availability of the sauce – I had heard that they were only delivering a case a month to the largest liquor store in town. She and the manager corrected me that it was a case every TWO months. They even showed me the statement the company had issued – that the product requires four years to produce and since they had expanded distribution to Iowa AND Illinois, they were simply over capacity. I suggested that they raise the price until they can get capacity up to speed. The clerk replied, “But then they wouldn’t sell as much!” I will offer free explanation of law of ‘supply and demand' to the distillery. For the record, I’m not a rye connoisseur but as far as potent potables, this one is going to need a can of coke.

So to close out the weekend, I went and saw the movie, “The Proposal”… partially because I know that Kim won’t go see it with me, and partially because I’m a sucker for a good romantic comedy. I give the movie a B – it is a serviceable comedy with well developed romance and actors and actresses that are appropriately cast. It can wait until a rainy day and a TBS movie marathon. Go ahead and make fun of me – but someone else is watching the ‘Take the Lead,’ ‘Save the Last Dance’ double feature!

Pics: a) gardens of crops - farming is business and smart farmers apply science. these signs indicate different seed types for corn and soybean; b) gardens of stone - i like to visit cemetaries and i'm often amazed at how long many widows live beyond their spouse (36 years!);

Day Miles: N/A
Trip Miles: 2,076
Towns: Carroll, Glidden, Coon Rapids, Willey, Deadham
Price to walk 18 holes Carroll Country Club: $36
Number of Aces, Eagles, Birdies: 0
Pars: 1
Scores at Bogey or above: 16
Holes closed for wedding: 1 (9th)
Date Beverage Container Deposit Law implemented in IA: 5/1/1979
Inflation from 1979 to 2009: 3.85%
Amount 5cent deposit should be to maintain parity of value: $0.16
Full price ticket for movie in Carroll: $7.00
Price for popcorn & soda: N/A (bad service + impatience)
June is national month of: Safety, Outdoors, Change Your Life
June 22nd is national day of: Stupid Guy Thing Day
References to “whiskey & rye” in “American Pie” (song, not movie): 7
Expected Blood Alcohol Level* if playing drinking game: .23
Where the music died 2/3/1959 – Clear Lake, IA
Google search results for “Wealth of Nations”: 1,570,000
Results of “Name Adam Smith” in Wolfram Alpha: 72nd most popular name “Adam”

*120lb Woman… 240lb man = .11

June 16, 2009

Start: Pella, IA
End: Carroll, IA

This is, after all, a business trip – I had an early (for me) conference call with the bosses at my client to review some work I had done. There were some substantial revisions and concerns so it was good that I had powered through on Monday – I was able to hop in the beast and mosey northwest in time for face-to-face meetings with some of the stakeholders in the afternoon. In an act of foolishness I decided that all roads in Iowa ran North/South and East/West so I figured I could take all paved roads North or West to their conclusion and make my way – unfortunately I ended up on a road that was going North East and all the cross roads were unpaved. After a few miles I decided to take one of the unpaved roads West, and as luck would have it, the road went VERY far before it met up with something paved, and with all the rain recently, the beast was well coated in a mud.

I made in time for my afternoon meetings and managed to get out of the office at a reasonable hour. I’ve decided that I am going to take advantage of one of the great parks in America – Swan Lake State Park in Iowa – it has a measure 3.8 mile track around the lake, part of the Sauk Rail Trail that links to a trail to neighboring Lake View about thirty miles away – home of the best prime rib I’ve ever had (Ryan’s – bring cash, no cards accepted). I stick to Swan Lake where I’ve yet to see a swan but there is a petting zoo (pigs, goats), eagle enclosure, three bison, and dozens of camping spots.

I have been coming to Carroll for almost three years now – at least one week a month on average, making it my home away from Virginia. For context, Carroll is a legit city with over 10,000 residents including a hospital, three major fast food chains (McDonalds, Burger King, Subway), two major discount stores (WalMart, Kmart); an NPR affiliate (90.7) and Catholic Radio Station (103.1), but small enough that if you go to any of these places, you will bump into someone that works at the client site. It is why I’ve never been to Ossy’s Show Club (the only place to see live/strange boobs within a two hour drive) lest others see me seeing more of others.

Pics: a) two trains running west/east, east west through Carroll (over 50 per day) with wind generators in the background; b) the coolest dog in the coolest car outside the largest liquor store (2 in town)



Day Miles: 204
Trip Miles: 2,076
Towns: Reasnor, Newton, Collins, Nevada, Ames, Boone, Grand Junction, Glidden
Gas stations in Collins: 0
Lotteries Played: GA, TN, KY, IN, IL, MO, IA
Illinois Lotto Numbers 06/15/2009: 03-07-43-45-46-47 (FOUR CONSECUTIVE NUMBERS!)
My Winnings: $0
States visited that require adult motorcyclists to wear helmets: GA, NC, TN, MO… non: SC, KY, IL, IA
Common sights at state borders: motorcyclists putting on/taking off helmets, adult book stores, fireworks stands
Avg Winter Temp: 21.8F
Avg Summer Temp: 72.7F
Temperature Mon 6/22: 95F, feels like 109F
Square Inches of dry fabric after running Swan Lake: 0
Use of super sweaty shirt while cooling off: wiping mud off Beast
Subsequent usefulness of shirt: 0
Tears shed over “Coors Cold” promotional t-shirt: 0
Only catholic signatory of the US Declaration of Independence: Charles Carroll
My Wisdom: If you visit the shop of a custom cabinet-maker, and he has an extensive inventory – shop elsewhere (effective advice for any ‘custom’ provider with inventory)
Weirdest Cover Song: Bulgarian Women’s Choir covering “oh susanna” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2UJp3vN-y0&feature=PlayList&p=07A2DB6263466032&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=8
Random Question: Where did moths hang out before humans made ways to make light?

June 15, 2009

Start: Owensboro, KY
End: Pella, IA

A fat bastard breakfast under my belt I got underway but was confused because the radio gave all times in both eastern and central time. Whenever, I cut from Kentucky north into the southwest corner of Indiana and jogged along on the state roads and crossed over the Wabash River on the most rickety bridge I’ve seen in a long time – which was scary because it was actually a bridge made out of rust and peeling paint. And then it started raining- and it rained like nobody’s business for the next six hours so when it was clear it wasn’t a passing shower, I stopped at an underpass and crammed all the non-water friendly luggage into the cab with me.

Somewhere north of Fairfield I came across a hippie standing next to a field with a thumb-out. I hope for a better world where drivers and hikers are not creepy – without a healthy helping-hand environment what would Jack Kerouac or Douglas Adams have written about? So I pulled over and met Bryan from Wisconsin. He seemed non-threatening in his flip flops and tremendous limp, so I invited him to ride in the bed of my truck and he indicated that he just wanted to get to the next town, Flora, about twenty miles up the road. So he sat in the back for the half hour or so it took and I pulled into town and dropped him in front of a diner. I would have felt bad if I left the guy standing in the rain – and hopefully he will pay it forward.

The day was uneventful otherwise – I drove through the rain all the way across Illinois, and finally found a bookstore in East Saint Louis (for a paperback copy of “how the states got their shapes”). Around that time the sun came out, and I made my way north through Missouri. Unfortunately the roads in Missouri are good (strange saying that) so even the state highways bypass the towns so I made good time all the way up to Hannibal (home of Mark Twain), then cut across the northern border of the state so I could get into Ottumwa around supper time – where I had a steak sandwich special (an 8oz ribeye served on a piece of bread) at the Riverside Restaurant before finding lodging up in Pella.

Did you know: the northern border of Missouri was defined by a surveyor named John Sullivan set in 1816? Unfortunately Mr. Sullivan’s East-West line wasn’t straight – it veers to the north at its eastern end until it ends at the Des Moines River. It was unclear who asked Sullivan to draw his line, but Congress then got caught in the interpretation of where the rapids of the Des Moines river are (there are none) and competing surveyor lines as Missouri (State) and Iowa (Territory) vied for 2,600 sq miles of geography – eventually the Supreme Court weighed-in and in an 1849 ruling let the veering line (north, not right/left) line stand.

Pics: a) not Jack Kerouac; b) my future’s so bright I have to block the rays; c) god’s rays over Iowa



Day Miles: 537
Trip Miles: 1,872
Cities: KY – Spottsville, Henderson; IN – Evansville, Blairsville, New Harmony; IL – Fairfield, Cisne, Flora, Iuka, Salem, Odin, Lebanon; MO – St. Louis, Troy, Hannibal, Luray, Memphis; IA – Milton, Fairfield, Ottumwa, Pella
Cost to cross White CO Toll Bridge (IN to IL): $1.00
Toll paid by car behind me: $0
Other famous resident of Hannibal, MO: Bill Lear
Invention attributed to Bill: Car Radio, the “Motorola” (portmanteau of “motor” & “Victrola”)
Billboard near Luray, MO: “Flies spread disease – keep yours zipped!”
Price of 8oz Steak Sandwich, fries, bowl of chicken dumpling soup, sierra mist, and coffee to to, in Ottumwa, IA: $11.05
Population of Pella IA (2000): 9,832
Percentage of town employed by Pella Windows: 41%
Famous residents of Pella: Wyatt Earp (birthplace of Warren & Morgan Earp)

June 14, 2009

Start: Vogel State Park, Chattahoochee National Forest, Georgia
End: Owensboro, KY

A day of dams - I rocked out of Chattahoochee National Forrest around 9:30 and Crossed into North Carolina briefly before crossing into Tennessee. Along the way, I ended up riding along the Ocoee River which was dammed extensively by the Tennessee Valley Authority with three dams – between dams 3 and 2 is the course that was used by the Olympians for the white water events in 1996 (DAM!). I followed the state roads trying to keep a west by northwest heading, hoping that I would cross the Appalachian Mountains efficiently, but it seemed like I spent all morning negotiating switchbacks and upanddownshifting.

I had planned on camping somewhere near mammoth cave, KY – but I ended up rolling in around 4:30 which was too early for me to stop making distance so I found a little camping symbol on my atlas at the Rough River State Park about seventy miles northwest. I rolled into the park after the ranger had gone for the day – a hand written note indicated that they would collect camping fees in the morning.

The park only had a handful of tents and RV’s so I was able to find a spot that was a fair distance from other campers and the tail waters of the Rough River dam where I would imagine mosquitoes hang out. Unfortunately – the sky to the west was black and thunder was rolling all around. Rather than set up a tent to get rained on, I decided to wait a while and see if the storm would pass. I built a fire, and decided that if my fire could beat out the rain, I would go ahead and camp regardless. Unfortunately, the storm packed a long downpour that doused my fire and flooded the area I had staked out for my tent (DAMN!). I pushed on to Owensboro and got a nice hot shower and clean sheets.

Pics: a) ocoee #2, boaters putting in for a 4.5 mile ride; b) our intrepid hero at the water above the dam; c) At barren river dam I was going to take a picture, but Ricky chased me off; d) we didn't start the fire; e) blame it on the rain.

Day Miles: 420
Trip Miles: 1,335
Cities: GA – Ivy Log; NC – Ranger; TN – Cleveland, Georgetown, Dayton, Sparta, Carthage, Lebanon; KY – Petroleum, Glasgow, Cave City, Leitchfield, Falls of Rough, Philpot
Dams: Ocoee 1, 2, 3, Barren River, Nolin, Rough River
Damnation (Number of billboards listing the Ten Commandments): 4 (at least)
Number of bookstores: 0
Sunday Hours at Putnam (TN) & Allen (KY) Counties, Public Libraries: Closed
Population of Owensboro KY: 54,067
Population of Frankfort, KY: 27,741
Participants in 2009 New York City Puerto Rican Day Parade: >80,000
Distance from Lavonia, GA to Scottsville, KY: 341.9mi
Fuel consumed: 16.225 gal (21.1mpg)
Last time fuel econ > 21: 3/21/8; (From El Reno, OK to Little Rock, AK [22.2mpg])
Cost of a room at Holiday Inn Express: $100
Cost to Park at Holiday Inn Express: $0
Stations playing Car Talk at 6pm within range of Anneta, KY: 4 (89.3, 88.9, 89.7, 90.9)
The WULF, 94.3FM, Lyrics from Brad Paisely:

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

Oooh, you never know where one might be
And oooh, there's lots of places that are hard to reach

June 13, 2009

Start: Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
End: Vogel State Park, Chattahoochee National Forest, Georgia


I got out of Hilton Head around 9:30 – Hugh had left the night before so I was responsible for cleaning and closing up and heading off the island. Like last year’s meandering, I’m sticking to the plan of avoiding interstates and restaurant chains. I drove through the South Carolina low-country until I crossed into Georgia at Augusta. Of course, I lent my copy of “How the States Got Their Shapes” by Mark Stein – it will be my mission to find a copy at a library or bookstore on the rest of this trip.


Passing through Elberton Georgia, I came across the Granite Museum where I was the only visitor when I got there. The man tending the desk was very friendly and put in an eleven minute DVD for me to watch about the granite industry and Elberton. What a surprise. More surprising was that two other groups of visitors arrived so I didn’t get any more story from the guy.

I pushed through to the Chattahoochee National Forest along the border Georgia shares with North Carolina and Tennessee. I had always thought the Chattahoochee referred to a swamp of some sort, but it is actually a beautiful part of the Blue Ridge Mountains with a climate that is compared to Pennsylvania. I stopped in one of the towns and went to the grocery store and got hamburgers and sides and before I left Reston I used my grandfathers two-man saw to cut some wood that was down behind the house. I was more prepared for camping that I usually am – and lucked into getting the last walk-in campsite in Vogel state park. That meant I had to lump my junk about fifty yards up to a campsite, but the bugs weren’t too bad and the burgers were perfect.

Pics: a) seriously?; b) seriously.; c) sitting in traffic; d) cribs, campstyle.




Day Miles: 332
Trip Miles: 915
Cities passed through: SC – Fairfax, Kline, Barnwell; GA: Augusta, New Hope, Lincolnton, Elberton, Lavonia, Toccoa, Clarksville, Cleveland
Elberton Percent of US Granite production: 33%
Number of quarries: 40
Percentage of granite used for memorial markers (tombstones): 90%
Cost to visit the granite museum: $0
Cost to camp in Vogel State Park: $12.00
Cost to park in Vogel State Park: $5.00
Friday evening elevation: 0 (Atlantic Ocean)
Saturday evening elevation: 2,238 (Lake Trahlyta)
Cost of Garmin Nuvi 200 Map Update: $69.99
Secondary Use: none
Cost of map of Vogel Campground: $0
Secondary Use: kindling

June 8 – 12, 2009

So I seem to work with, drink with, and be related to a disproportionate number of attorneys. To see what it is all about, I went ahead and took the LSAT on Monday June 8th. It was as hard as they say it is – so I’m pretty sure I don’t have to make any plans to apply to Harvard. It will be three weeks before the scores are ready anyway so I should go ahead and keep on trucking.
Speaking of trucking – it is the annual retreat to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. My family has been going every year for about thirty years. Now that my brothers and I are older and the family has grown, we have two time share units at the Island Club. Because of the aforementioned activity on Monday, it was Tuesday before I got on the road, and the vacation was almost half over before it even began for me. So instead of tennis and/or golf I did naught but drink beer and loaf.

I guess I didn’t mention it – this is actually the start of a new road trip. Instead of flying to Iowa, I’m going to drive it and visit some places I didn’t get to visit last year.

Pics: a) the beast; b) the junk in my trunk; c) Spanish Moss really looks the way it did on Scooby Doo!



Day Miles: 583
Trip Miles: 583
Price of gas in Wilson, NC: $2.35
Price of gas in Ridgeland, SC: $2.59
Distance ‘tween: 287
Average MPG: 15.667
Luggage in the bed: all
Thunderstorms: 3

April 16, 2009

Operation Kegerator

So, back in November Dave and I got a Pepsi machine. I don’t really like soda very much. I really do like beer very much. Operation Kegerator was a no brainer.



Unfortunately the machine was designed and constructed to be left outside of a High School gymnasium – it is virtually indestructible. The interior panels are made of steel and all mechanical fasteners were rivets that needed to be drilled out. Even when the panels were detached from the frame, I had to cut additional structure to pull them out. It was a great excuse to wear some safety equipment.



Once the interior panels were removed, I needed to construct a platform for the keg and CO2 tank. Rather than simply cut a piece of plywood and position it in place, I used some wood that was leftover when David didn’t want the split box spring for his queen bed, and rather than throwing the box spring in the trash, I disassembled it, and stored the wood in the garage, and since it was four pieces of wood, and had to take into consideration the cuts made to disassemble the machine I used the flat steel that was leftover from operation RackandRoll – it took a while, almost as long as it took to explain that one step.


Finally, I cut a hole in the side of the machine, through three metal panels and an inch of foam insulation. Unfortunately I don’t have any full kegs at this time, which will give me a chance to measure out and install the tubing for the gas and dispensing lines.



Number of evenings spent in the garage: 4
Trips to home depot: 5
Time home depot closed on Easter: 6pm
Number of Successful trips to home depot: 3
Number of times walked to home depot: 3
Number of Home Depot Surveys Completed: 3
Consistent ‘net promoter score’ I gave: 7
Net Promoter is a customer loyalty metric co-founded by (and a registered trademark of) Frederick F. Reichheld, Bain & Company and Satmetrix.
Number of consultants it takes to create a metric: 1
Number of consultants it takes to create a pepsi kegerator: 1
Survey drawing prize: $5,000 gift card
Cost of 7/8” Punchout Drill Bit: $34.97
Thumb smashed with sledgehammer: Left
Profanity Used: Much