April 1, 2010

Fool’s Day

A Rose By Any Other Name…
I’ve seen a lot of clever names of boats. I decided that it would be nice to have a name for my little boat – something that would be clever but also be appropriate for the ultimate professional use I’d like to see from this boat. So, trying to leverage the smart people I know I created an email ring with my friends to come up with a name for where my funds will go, and here are the options that my friends came up with (some of the more amusing, yet inappropriate names have been redacted):

Big mack, Little mack, Water beast, Consulting, Consulting fee, The office, Client site, Deliverable, The little woman, My main squeeze, Patriot’s dingy, Patriot’s poop, My dirty dingy, It's a boat time, That's what I'm talking a boat!, Backed Raft, Mack Raft, The PotoMack, N'Sink, Sinking Suspicion, Sunk Cost, SS Minnowtaur, PotoMack, Mack Boat, Mack Beth, Mack the Knife, (Kobayashi Maru), If This Boat's a' Rocking - That's Because It's Small, Fat Guy in a Little Boat, Hanging with the Buoys, The Bro-at, Rod Holder, Where's the Reef?, The Anchor Sore, it's not the size of the boat., luke perry, whatcha talkin' a boat- willis, what's up dock, wake whatcha momma gave ya, mack-in-the-boat, 99 problems, but a boat ain't one, cap-n-mack's-wa-ter-craft, Nasty Bouy

While many were worth a laugh – I settled on “little guy.” It is appropriate for a boat serving as a tender for a larger vessel, it is not unprofessional, it matches how my friends with male children refer to their progeny, and… I won’t be embarrassed to order a decal with the name.

Boat terminology in culture (popular or otherwise)
Above Board: Pirates would hide crew members below decks to fool victims. When all the crewmen were on the deck then -- seeing is believing – the vessel was more likely to be an honest merchant ship.
All hands on deck: Nowadays we gather to discuss some task. Sailors did the same thing, but met on the deck.
Bamboozle: This was the word used to describe the deceit of pirates who flew an ensign of national origin other than their own.
Barge in: Most believe this term, used today to describe a tactless appearance or interruption, came about because barges are hard to maneuver.
Clean slate: Daily logs were kept on a slab of slate. Each new watch officer would erase the previous entries.
Knows the ropes: It took an experienced seaman to know the function of all the ropes on a sailing vessel.
Passed with flying colors: Refers to a sailing ship that distinguished itself by flying all of its pennants and flags (called "colors") when passing other vessels.
Pipe down. Helmsmen told the crew members on deck that they could "pipe down," meaning their chores were done and they could return to their quarters below decks.
Scuttlebutt: To discourage idle chit-chat at the ship\’s water barrel, the drinking ladle had little holes in it so the water would leak if the sailor didn\’t drink it up fast. The holes were called scuttles.
Shape up: This was the term helmsmen used to refer to getting back on course to avoid danger.
Under the weather: The sailor who had to stand watch on the bow taking all the pounding and spray was said to be "under the weather."
Worth their salt: Salt actually was also used to pay Roman sailors. So any sailor "worth his salt" was worth what he was getting paid.


Other Boat Comments / Humor
Boats, Dogs, Women – things that you should borrow or rent rather than trying to own your own.
A boat is a hole in the water into which money is thrown.
The second happiest day of your life is when you buy a boat. The happiest is when you sell a boat.
Why did the new Spanish navy get glass bottom boats? So they could see the old Spanish navy.
What do you get when you cross a street with a boat? A hole in the hull.